![]() ![]() Compared to the cornbread, jingoist, high school dropouts that go with you in Battlefield 3 or in any Call of Duty clone, the Black Ops II squadmates are at least as entertaining as the rejects in Aliens, as opposed to the guys who end up dead in Black Hawk Down. They're jerks and aren't people that I'd want to hang out with. It's Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare: The Videogame It's only the peaks.Ĭall of Duty: Black Ops II | Micro-review Don't be surprised if you have to kill the live turkey released onto the table prior to a later course though. Others are single bites of steak, alone on a plate, and the next plate is served to you 0.5 seconds later. Some of the courses are just a glass of water with an exotic fruit floating in it. He mentions Vanquish and Dark Souls.Ī five-star chef is serving you your meals with no break between courses. We can still bond over our love of videogames and food though. Maybe it's ancient Greece, and there's an orgy going on in the next room over. I imagine myself sitting in an exotic restaurant in a foreign land. When I was jamming an ice-infused mega-sword into the flank of a winged triceratopadactyl-beast, half-speaking with my dad on the phone, I mentioned that I was playing a game called Monster Hunter, he told me, without an emotion, "That is the best name of anything, ever." It's funny that he thinks he's funny, and that's okay, because who am I to doubt his grinning, tip-toeing sarcasm. Monster Hunter 3 Ultimate is tourism for videogames. None of them is the Citizen Kane of videogames (we won't know that for about 20 years after the assumed videogame is released). I will not flex any muscle to say the micro-reviews included below are set to become celebrated triumphs five decades from now. That artisitc perspective came with time. Formerly just little image reels, movies got, uh, big, to put it lightly, and EVERYONE wants to BE movies, be they athlete, rapper, or videogame. Then very smart people started enjoying music, listening to music, and producing music of their own. As they are now, videogames are disposable candy snacks, like a rockabilly single from the 1950's, meant to spin on a radio turntable for a month, only to be replaced by the next single. I pointed this out in my study of Paradise Lost ages ago. There is tremendous hype and mindshare that influences criticism on creative endeavors. Still, enough time has passed to give them a more thorough, unbiased perspective. Included here are four micro-reviews for major video game releases from a few years ago.
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